- Publication: Jul 28 2011
- ISBN/EAN13: 1463739834 / 9781463739836
- Page Count: 128
- Trim Size: 5.06″ x 7.81″
So here’s the thing: at a certain point in my life I felt a great need to understand my past. I did my best–I went to therapy. I talked to as many relatives as I could. I journaled. And still there were big gaps. So when I happened upon a past-life regression book (“Includes CD!”) I purchased it, hotfooted it home, fed and bathed The Boy and put him to bed, and started reading.
According to the author of this book, we tend to come back again and again, sort of like bad sausage, and, like bad sausage the parts of our experience we repeat tend to be the parts we liked the least–traumas and in particular violent deaths seem to have as profound affect upon our current lives. He maintains that by understanding this, by “owning” the past-life traumas, we can put the resultant fears, destructive behaviors, and psychological traces to rest and live fuller, happier lives.
That sounded pretty good to me. Perhaps the idea of reliving past traumas wasn’t so great, but at the time I was certainly plagued by fears and destructive behaviors. Some I could explain from my past history, present pass, but it seemed to me that the pain in my childhood didn’t really explain the depth of some of the issues I carried. If re-living a pre-life trauma would help with that, I was all for it.
A word of warning here: I’ve had several responsible therapists tell me that this isn’t really a smart way to go about past-life regression–that it’s pretty important to have a qualified therapist on hand to help you deal with what might come up (and to bring you out of hypnosis if things get too hairy). I have no reason to doubt this, and if I had this to do again I might well do it differently, but in this blog we’re sworn to honesty. This is what I did. And this is what happened. Bear in mind that you might not get the same results, and just because I did this doesn’t mean I’m advocating you do the same. (Did you notice I’m not providing the link for the past-life regression book and CD I used? I did that intentionally. If you’re going to do this, you’re going to have to do your own research. I won’t help you do something that, with more information, I now believe might not be a good, safe thing to do.)
Anyhow, back to the story. So I read the book, and I did the guided imagery, and the next day I dropped The Boy off at school, took my journal to my coffee and bagel joint, and set about recording the image flashes that had resulted from my experiment the night before. And something amazing happened: as I wrote, a whole story spooled out. It wasn’t a happy story–actually, it was a story about a woman who faced an issue much like one of the central issues that I faced. She did no better and dealing with the issue than I was doing.
That night I repeated the exercise. The following morning there I was, back at the bagel shop, writing–and getting a completely different story. In the end, the woman in the story loses her battle, too.
I did the exercise again, and again, and each time I wound up with a different story. Some ended well. Most didn’t.
I never really made up my mind to stop doing the exercises. I think it was more that the need to do them just went away. I still have the book and the CD. Haven’t opened them for years. I’m still no more certain about the reality of multiple lives than I was before I began the exercises. Do the stories reflect past lives, or my past life here and now? I don’t know.
What I do know is that these stories hold something for me. In writing them, I released something in myself. Much of that deep, inexplicable fear and pain disappeared. What has remained is a series of stories that probably hold some of my best writing so far–stories about women in crisis, women facing the ultimate questions about the nature of fear, of pain, of love, and what ties us to our lives. They’re not easy stories. If you’re a fan of happy endings you’ll want to skip right to the last story in the book. I wrote these stories because I needed to write them. And then, one day, I didn’t need to write them anymore. So I stopped. Here they are. Enjoy.