Remember the Children

Sign of the Times
Signs and caution tape are posted on a closed Northern NJ playground due to Covid-19 shutdown,
May 10th, 2020 (Photo by Rebecca Osso)

Donna Grahl, September 2020

At first my three grandkids thought it was fun not to go to school. Not anymore.

Much is said about schooling in the time of COVID-19—how teachers are doing, how parents are faring. Those are real concerns. But in our three-generational household in South Jersey, I’ve been looking at the pandemic from children’s point of view.

Even the most basic things concern me. I trust all three to stay mindful with their masks and handwashing but Leo, the youngest, is only seven. So we worry.

For months in the winter and spring, my grandkids learned remotely. The food train was at our house. We ate nonstop in our eight-member household, spending seven hundred dollars on food on our first trip to Costco. We feel blessed that buying food never became an issue for us, but the kids gained weight.

It’s no wonder. We did a few puzzles and crafts together, but they were no substitute for what the kids had planned. For one thing, there was no baseball for Leo.

And the girls, who at first didn’t realize the seriousness of the virus, eventually felt cheated of many school activities. There was no junior prom for Trinity, for instance. The one that hurt most, though, was Brooklyn missing her big birthday concert. School shut down on March 19, the very day she was going to see her idol, Billie Eilish. The show wasn’t cancelled—just delayed, so there was no refund on her $600 ticket. At least not yet.

Even at home, I see the effects of the pandemic on my grandkids. I’ve noticed that Brooklyn, even unbeknownst to her, has been hibernating in her room a whole lot since the virus.

Leo doesn’t like to go to stores, or even outside, much. He went to summer camp for three days and then didn’t want to anymore. So we took him out. He just wanted to be home with us. His mom’s shop closed down so she was home a lot more. Maybe that had something to do with his staying inside.

Heck, the kids refused to even stand on the ice cream line with me! They wanted to wait in the car. All the people wearing masks intimidated them.

When I look at the pandemic from a child’s point of view, that makes sense.

Still, kids are resilient. And we’re grateful for the hands-on experiences we had with them—the wine bottles we painted, the masks we made. It may have helped all of us that we were home together.

Did any kids actually learn during remote schooling, though? I’m sure they did though one local teenager told me the one good thing that came out of this virus for him: he knew he didn’t deserve to be promoted to the next grade, he said, but in the pandemic everyone was promoted, no matter what.

Now it’s fall and different challenges have emerged. The kids are back in their classrooms two days a week. To protect them a little more, we’ve opted not to use the district school buses. Instead we drive them to and from their three different schools. Our schedules revolve around theirs.

Leo finds it difficult to stay engaged with his classes, so a new battle begins every day. Some days he cries. Other days, we cry.

And Brooklyn, though back at school, has found that on her two designated days, she’s the only girl in all her classes. Naturally, she’s withdrawing. I picked her up from school early last week because she was the only girl in gym class and, of course, when it came time to pick sides, no one picked her.

When she called for a ride, she was crying.

Her dad told her gym class is only one day a week for forty-six minutes so she should either tough it out or just go on an all-remote learning scheduled again.

We adults sure have enough on our minds but we’d do well to remember what all this uncertainty and disruption must feel like for the children in our lives. It’s tough enough to be a kid in the best of times. It’s just too tough in the time of COVID.

Donna Grahl, retired from the hospitality industry, is an avid traveler—at least before COVID-19. As a practicing Buddhist for forty years, she is devoted to chanting for peace and happiness for all. Currently, she is working on a memoir.

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